Christmas are approaching! Isn’t it time to celebrate? Not for you. If you are single fearing becoming alone during the holidays, your might want the festivities to help you pass as quickly as possible. “No time of the year might be thus dark, uncomfortable and annoying”, you tell yourself”; “If only I had someone to come to be with, things would have been different”, you whisper to yourself time and again.
Or you might find away that you haven’t been successful finding a partner until now not considering no “suitable” partner came your way, but because you were over-afraid about developing a long-term serious relationship (for a single reason or another); or simply that you are so needy and dependent on whomever you went with that they terminated the relationship; or that you were thus controlling and demanding that many of your dates just rejected your attempts to getting nearer and maybe even to transferring together.
Using the holidays’ time to figure out what are the true causes of your inability to have a severe, meaningful, satisfying intimacy, is known as a time well-spent. The topic you’ll gain will enable you to find a suitable partner by means of whom to develop and maintain a thriving intimacy.
Could it really be that you did all you could to find a partner with whom to cultivate a good relationship but do not have luck? Well, these can serve you as arguments and rationalizations to not being a success. But is it really the lawsuit? Or could there come to be other reasons for your failed attempts? Could it be that something in you hinders and prevents you from developing a successful relationship?
Use the holidays to figure out how not to be alone next year. It may seem that such advice is usually ridiculous. Why to think about following year when this year’s holidays are approaching? The reason is simple: if you have been one for a long time, what guarantee do you own that you will not be single next year as well?
Using the holidays to think these over might help you understand the true reasons for ones failures. You might find, for example, that you have patterns of behaviors that repeat themselves throughout your past-relationships which always brought about conflicts between you plus your partners.
Why is you think that between sometimes a miracle will happen and out-of-the-blue you will have a wonderful rapport? If you have been failing in having a wonderful relationship up to now, what are the odds that you will reach your goals in having one next season?
The odds probably do not job in your favour! Therefore, it happens to be up to you to do something about your situation. Therefore, you may want to use the holidays this year to figure out how to make a change for next 365 days! How can you use this year’s holidays to become able to have a bond next year?
The secret to help you doing so is developing Self-Awareness: getting to understand why you weren’t able to develop a successful closeness so far; what made you will fail in your relationships until now. Is it really so that you basically didn’t come across partners who had been good enough for you? Is it really so that there were “external conditions” which made it impossible to be able to develop and maintain a successful closeness?